36 Weeks

Here it is. I am finally in the last month of my pregnancy. While parts of it seemed to zoom by, now that it has hit March 1st, the days are coming to a screeching hault. I’m not sure how I feel about that. My body in one way is just done. I feel huge, achy, sore and tired. On the other hand I know how much another little being can completely change a household. I will admit I’m a little nervous about labor, delivery, birth and what it will mean for when we go home. How easily will I learn to re-juggle? How will it be once my husband goes back to work? More importantly, how will my son adapt? Don’t get me wrong though, I am in absolute and amazingly humbled that my little girl will soon be entering the world. There is always the fear of the unknown though.

Physically I’m quite healthy. My blood pressure is measuring out nicely. My weight is on cue with this pregnancy. I’ve actually gained the perfect amout of weight, which is nice since I will admit I’ve spoiled myself with an extra cookie or Reeses here or there. After a very sick first trimester, having to undergo the three hour glucose test (which I passed) and miraculously busting my butt to find a new job and all those stresses that goes with that, I figured I deserved
it every so often. Now that I hit 36 weeks, it is like on cue that the horrible back contractions have started. I remember back labor when I was induced with my son. It was a throbbing, annoying pain that really never went away. I saw an epidural in my future and knew at some point I’d get it and therefore stayed focus on the marvelousness of the epidural’s magic powers that would eventually come to me. However with these back contraction episodes, it catches you off guard and it feels like a knife is stabbing you over and over again. The first time it hit I was unprepared and thus fought it. Bad idea. It literally left me shaking in pain and I was home alone with a three year old. Uncool. The subsequent times it has happened, I’ve learned to mediate and work it out which in turn seems to not last as long nor get as bad. The downer side is it still happens without too much warning and having to pull over on my way to work several times this
week has become a bit annoying. I’ll take my epidural now please.

I will admit I am quite nervous about labor and delivery. I ideally would like to get my long list of stuff accomplished first. It is dwindling down as my patient husband and I work diligently on it each night when we get home from work. I would also like in my little ideal world to have it start by my water breaking while I’m taking a shower or bath so I create as little mess as possible and I’ve had a chance to wash my hair. I really really REALLY do not want my water breaking at work. I also don’t want to have to start timing my contractions at work either, but in that case I’ll go home if that business starts happening. I just rather it happen while my husband and I are both home so I’m not driving anywhere. I hate leaving my car places….and I am NOT driving to the hospital by myself. I know. I know. I’m quite demanding but hopeful! I also am wondering how long this labor will take until I deliver. Will it be quick? Will the epidural take? How big will my daughter be? Will she be okay? Will I remember to bring the camera? There are a lot of questions and concerns!

I’ll also need to re-juggle things once more. In every day life you learn to re-juggle all the crud that is thrown at you. I guess I’ll just figure it out! As far as my relationship with my son and my
daughters goes, I hope he loves her. I think he already does given how protective he already is and how much he loves being called a big brother. My son is a very active little boy, but man does he have a caring protective nature about him. He notices things. He watches out for things and if it isn’t just so or isn’t fair, he will tell you. I can’t tell you how many times he’s decided his Dad was cold so he brought over a blanket for him or the little pride on his face when he does something cool like cleaning up dishes or something along those lines. He has the making to be a great brother. He already is a pretty terrific son. I just want to make usre he knows he isn’t second and that he’s just as special. My husband and I balance things pretty well so I’m pretty sure he’ll be good to go. Do I expect hiccups? Yes. Do I expect there may be some jealousy? Some. My son is pretty nonchalant and easy going, so as long as we balance turns (turns are big in our little house) and give some special time just for him which I am already planning on. Babies to require lots of attention but he also doesn’t require being babied and actually hates it when I do baby him too much.

So I guess I’m ready. Ready to see what how this little girl will change my world, my husbands world and her brothers world. I want to do everything possible for my children. I want them to hopefully be great friends some day. I can’t wait to see how much a daughter changes my already softy of a husband. I cringe at guessing what her hair will look like the mornings I’m not there. It will be fun to see the relationship my children will have. It is just going to be another amazing journey in our lives together. I'm humbled. Nothing is more awesome then being rich in family and love.

I'll see you soon Alexis!