Benny's Sister

On March 15, 2011 at 4:36 am, Ben's life changed forever. He was officially a big brother to our new family addition Alexis Lorraine. While he has known his sister was on his way for quite some time, I don't think he ever anticipated exactly what that would fully mean. Heck, I didn't even anticipate what that would fully mean. Sure I had more of the concept that a new being would enter our worlds, but to understand it means you need to experience it. It is sort of like not knowing the love you have for your child or the love your parents have for you until you actually have one of your own.

Ben officially met his sister on March 16th. He did not come the first day as his Mom was recuperating from some serious high blood pressure. He came into the hospital room (room 139) with his Nagymama (who picked him up from school) and his Nagypapa (who went outside to greet them). He was apprehensive, shy and a little unsure. I wasn't completely surprised by this but a little taken back as none of those adjectives are usually used to describe my son. He's usually very confident and loves to experience life at full speed. When he came in, I was holding his sister Alexis and told him to come up to me. I desperately wanted to snuggle both of my babies but I think the bed was a bit intimidating. He was okay to sit along side the bed in a chair and talk with me. He showed me a new shiny penny he had gotten and talked a little bit about school. He also told me how he can spell the word "bus" by singing the song, "the bus, the bus, the B-U -S". He was so sweet. To break the ice some more his Nagymama told him that perhaps he should give us some presents. He was quite excited about this and came over with cookies (three of them for him and his family) and a beautiful little plant that he had picked out. I then told him that we had a few things that Alexis wanted to give to him. He was given a few matchbox cars complete with a squad car, bus, helicopter and a few other vehicles and a spiderman coloring book. He was thrilled but still a bit shy. I decided to then hand off Alexis to his Nagymama so I could get some one on one time. We both sat down on a large chair and watched a movie for a little while. It was nice feeling close to him again and we held hands for a while. Soon enough Ben got a little more comfortable and started exploring the place. He had to check out the bathroom and then found empty cabinets. He was really thrilled when he was able to hide inside one cabinet which also contained thick plastic hangers. Hangers in Ben's world equals to "Captain Hooks" which he loves to play with. After a while it was time for him to go home. He told his Dad and I to come with him, but we obviously couldn't. It broke my heart that I couldn't go with him and after he left I did cry a bit. I missed my Ben. It was the longest time I have ever stayed away from him.



On our first day home, Ben was shy again at first but then was happy to be home with all of us once again. He really didn't bother too much with his sister but would every now and then look at her or ask where she went if one of us handed her off to the other parent. He also got to hold her, as he had requested months before she was even born if he could. He was gentle and caring. He held her for a few moments before asking politely if we could get her.


The following morning Ben was up on my bed and wanted to hold Alexis again. We complied but helped him of course. He was done within a few moments again. He then looked at his Dad and said, "Would you like to hold MY sister?" We both that was pretty amusing. He already staked his claim on her. The same day his Gaga came to visit in the evening. It was time for him to go to sleep and Gaga was holding her but she was about to also go home for the evening. Ben knew this, looked a bit worried and then told her very seriously, "You leave Alexis with Mommy". He was making sure his sister did not go anywhere. We all chuckled and reassured him she would not be going anywhere.


So far Ben has been doing great at home. He is being very sweet to his sister and constantly looking at her, holding her hand and has even given her a few kisses and hugs without being asked to. He still continues to do what Ben wants to do (which we want him to do that) but also has found a new sense of even greater sweetness for his tiny little sister. I'm amazed at his ability to adapt to such a huge change so easily and the fact he is willing to share his space with this new, tiny creature. I'm so proud of him and he already is such an awesome big brother.

I love you Ben!

One Week Check Up

Today Alexis had her one week check up to make sure she was gaining the proper amount of weight. I was very surprised to see that her umbilical cord also fell off once I started undressing her at the doctors office! I swear with Ben it took at least two weeks or more. Alexis is gaining weight fine since her two day appointment where she was 6lbs 9oz as she is now is 6lbs 14 oz. She's gaining about an ounce a day and doing fantastic!

Introducing Alexis Lorraine

It is amazing to think that once you have everything planned out and couldn't possibly be surprised that God will chuckle and say, "think again". Alexis Lorraine was obviously expected. I wasn't sure when. I hoped that my water wouldn't break during work or that she would come earlier than April 1st. She came into our lives at a bit of an unexpected time labor/delivery wise, but her arrival since has brought nothing but joy. Here is her story.

On Monday, March 14th I woke up feeling cramps. It was persistent and I wasn't entirely sure what was going on. It just didn't "feel right" but it wasn't overly alarming. I sent my son and husband off to their usual Monday routine and called the doctor. They decided that they would like for me to go over to the triage room at Fair Oaks to be monitored and checked out. I decided I didn't really want to drive feeling a bit horrible, so my Mom picked me up and just in case we put my overnight bag into her car. When I arrived that mid morning, I put on a gown and monitors were started. I was having no contractions, Alexis' heart beat was as strong as it has always been, but my blood pressure was not where it should be. It was a bit surprising as my last 37 week appointment has a near perfect blood pressure reading. Dr. Bruchalski who was on call came in to talk with me and see what was going on. He decided to take some blood for labs but our conversations were light as we talked about Winston Salem and the fact my Mom and him both knew of the same obnoxious restaurant owner in Highland Falls. After a few hours, James showed up worried about me even though my Mom was there. My Mom decided she would go ahead with her day and leave us both as we both were thinking I would be going home at any point. Not ten minutes later, Dr. Bruchalski came back in stating that I had failed the blood pressure test and he was admitting me into the hospital to be induced for delivery. James and I were both taken back for a second. Delivery? The word as almost as foreign to us as if we weren't even pregnant at all. We were needlessly shocked. A few minutes later, James called my Mom (who had my bag) and told her we would need to get my overnight bag. She was just as surprised as we were.

Before long, I was walked over to the labor delivery room. I was in room 6 and immediately hooked up to the blood pressure reader, monitors and had an IV started with pitocin. My Mom showed up for a little while but left to go home and pick up Ben from day care. I was contracting well, but was warned I could potentially have a c-section due to the little progress my body had made thus far to get me ready to deliver a baby. That made me nervous. After a while, my contractions were probably around a four, but nothing I couldn't handle. Gina my nurse asked if I wanted an epidural and I told her I was fine about getting one but was not sure if it would wear off. I was told it wouldn't. Around six o'clock I got the epidural. I hate that bee sting feeling in my back, but I knew the contractions would only get stronger and more painful so I was fine enduring a bit of pain to over set what I would be feeling if I did not receive it. Thankfully I proceeded to move along nicely after that. I had my water broken (which I didn't feel at all nor even felt any wetness) around eight o'clock. I continued to labor without any pain until around 2 am. I could feel pressure with pain in my pelvic area and then it started to go lower and lower. I was worried I would feel more of that pain and asked my night nurse if I could get a booster. After I did, I only felt the pressure which I was quite thankful for. A little after four my nurse along with James held my legs and counted down my pushes. I made pretty decent progress as Dr. Bruchalski was called in soon after that. I was never sure if I was laboring too quickly or if it was a preference but they never took the other part of the bed off. I pushed for about twenty minutes and at 4:36 my life changed forever when I got to meet my beautiful, sweet princess. She weighed in at 7lbs even and at 20.5 inches long. Her Dad clamped and cut the cord, which was pretty amazing. I cried as the nurses and doctor all told me how beautiful she was and her proud Dad watched her get cleaned up. She was an absolute beauty and her parents were immediately head over heels in love with this new little creature in their lives.


The not so wonderful part is my blood pressure sky rocketed after birth. I was put on magnesium and the nurse told me I couldn't really hold Alexis. It broke my heart, but at that point I was understanding that I needed to protect her over anything that I was feeling. The magnesium didn't make me feel too well. I wasn't allowed to have a lot to drink as my mouth was dried out from the medicine anyways and I felt quite drugged. Essentially I was put on mandatory bed rest and was set up as if I was in an ICU. I was also told early on that I was not to have any visitors. After a while and the nurse shift changed, I wasn't having as horrible of a reaction to the meds as predicted (extreme nausea/vomiting) and I was told I could have the Grandparents visit. James put in a call to the Grandparents and all of them were thrilled as they were all quite disappointed that they couldn't visit at first.

Alexis' Nagypapa arrived first. He was so excited but nervous. It was sweet to see how careful he was to hold a newborn again. He talked to her about silly little things including what positions to play in baseball. It was the same conversation he had with her as he had with my Ben. He remembered. That in itself warmed my heart. Next Gaga arrived. She was thrilled as well. She told us how beautiful she was and how she kept looking at the picture we sent to the family earlier that day. Then my Mom (Nagymama) arrived and was overjoyed at meeting her first Granddaughter. The room was all smiles and that was exactly what I needed.

After 24 hours, I was thankfully taken off of the magnesium. I felt better after that and was able to eat a little after that. I was also able to hold Alexis once more, which thrilled me to pieces. Once I was stable I was moved to post partum and was able to take a shower. There is NOTHING like taking that first shower after delivering a baby. It was a short shower as I wanted to get out and hold my baby again, but it certainly gave me the relief I needed. My blood pressure still continued to be a bit of a concern, but thankfully I was able to take a blood pressure medication.

On Wednesday after school Benjamin arrived to meet his sister with his Nagymama and Nagypapa. Gaga was also present as we all wanted to see his reaction. He came into the room unsure and a little shy. If you know Ben, he certainly is a confident little boy and hardly ever shy. He was okay seeing her from the chair near the hospital bed, but he did NOT want to get on the bed even after he gave lollipops and a flower to Alexis and me and we gave him a present of cars and a spiderman coloring book. I had never been away from Ben for more then one night and wanted to have some one on one time so I sat with him in the chair as we watched a small part of a movie on tv. He soon got more comfortable and started to look through all the cabinets and drawers, which had nothing but hangers in them. He was delighted to find those "treasures" as in his world they equaled out to be "Captain Hooks". Before long he went home but he wanted his Dad and I to leave with him. It broke my heart that I couldn't just leave with him and I shed a few tears after he left.

On Thursday, we were given the okay to go home. I was still having issues with the blood pressure but was given a prescription. We came home around one o'clock. Then around 3 o'clock James picked up Ben to take him home. Ben was shy again at first but then was happy to be home with all of us once again. He really didn't bother too much with his sister but would every now and then look at her or ask where she went if one of us handed her off to the other parent. He also got to hold her, as he had requested months before she was even born if he could. He was gentle and caring. He held her for a few moments before asking politely if we could get her.

The following morning Ben was up on my bed and wanted to hold Alexis again. We complied but helped him of course. He was done within a few moments again. He then looked at his Dad and said, "Would you like to hold MY sister?" We both that was pretty amusing. He already staked his claim on her. The same day his Gaga came to visit in the evening. It was time for him to go to sleep and Gaga was holding her but she was about to also go home for the evening. Ben knew this, looked a bit worried and then told her very seriously, "You leave Alexis with Mommy". He was making sure his sister did not go anywhere. We all chuckled and reassured him she would not be going anywhere.

Alexis is one of the sweetest babies. She sleeps a ton and hardly cries about anything. She makes little hungry noises and sucks on her hands to let her know she is ready for food. She is just absolutely beautiful and so wonderful. I can't get enough of her. Even at this moment I am holding her in my arms as I am typing her story up. I just can't put her down and probably am setting myself up for one spoiled baby. However, knowing how quickly this stage comes and goes, I am relishing in how beautiful these peaceful moments are. My Alexis Lorraine is quite loved and adored already. I'm looking forward to adding more posts in her little blog and can't wait to watch her grow. I wish time would already slow down a bit but am cherishing each minute.

Welcome to the world my sweet girl. Your Mom, Dad and brother love you dearly!

Your Brother

I can't tell you enough how excited your brother is to meet you. He talks about you, says your name frequently and even picks out things for you. How sweet is he? Hopefully he will be the same when you come into this world and completely change our family for the better, but I had to write out a few things about your already evolving relationship.

First, he was the one to predict you were a girl. He never wavered about you being anything but a sister. He knew who you were from the very beginning.

Your brother is only three but he already told me he was going to protect you. I'm sort of feeling sorry for you in your dating years. I have an inkling he'll be around to make sure you're going out with the right kind of guys.

This morning when Ben woke me up, he looked at my belly and said good morning to you as well. He then said inches from my belly button, "COME OUT". I couldn't agree more. I know you're safe and warm, but your entire family is eager to meet you. Plus its getting harder and harder for your Mom to move about!

Lastly, your family was at Old Navy last night looking for socks for you and a Easter shirt for your brother. Your brother from across the store saw a dress for you that he said HAD to be yours(pictured above). He thinks of you already and wants you to have pretty things. I got it for you for next summer. What a lucky sister you are to have such a thoughtful brother!!!!

We all can't wait to meet you sweet girl! Come soon!!!

Benny's Life

Ben has been such a busy little guy in the last several months since the Christmas season has ended. He has really got the knack of potty training, learned so many different things and even ice skated for the first time!

Ben finally decided he should potty more at home vs. just at school. He knew how to but really it was at point where it was up to him. Plus he wanted to wear some cool spider man underwear which probably helped push it a little further along. He had cool underwear in the past, but he is certainly a guy that when he makes up his mind to do something then he goes for it! He still wears pull ups for nap time and bed time, but that will come with time. I am just happy he is doing fantastic being dry all day. He even at one point while his Nagypapa wasn't serving liturgy asked his Nagypapa to take him potty! Ben did not want his Mom or Nagymama to take him. I believe that it was the first time I have EVER seen my Dad leave during a church service for something in all the years I've gone to church with him. Ben certainly can pull more strings then I ever could.

Ben is learning new things every day. He really likes school and comes home with some pretty awesome art work. He knows how to spell his name and is working diligently on writing his name out. That letter "B" is certainly a difficult letter to make, but he's doing pretty good at getting it. He does really great with tracing out dot-to-dot letters, so it won't be long before he writing them himself. He does pretty amazing with writing out the letters, "A", "O" and "M" when requested. Ben prefers more then anything to cut with scissors and glue paper. He certainly is a crafty little guy! He loves cutting out ringlets, circles and houses. He is so sweet to make sure that everyone including Lucas and Joey get their own piece of art work each time he uses the scissors. Ben is a very thoughtful little guy.

In other news, Ben made me one proud Mom yesterday in experiencing his first time EVER ice skating! I had zero expectations really because there are a lot of new things he'd have to experience that may or may not be scary to him. I wondered how he would react to putting on ice skates, stepping out into the ice or how he'd be with other people skating around him. We arrived to Ashburn Ice House just before the public skate time started. We watched the older kids play hockey in one rink while his Dad stood in line to buy tickets. He loved watching the kids play and requested to play hockey with them. I told him he certainly could when he gets a bit older and learns how to skate first. We headed back just in time to get his ice skates. He was very interested in them. They had "swords" on the bottom of them. I told him it would be funny to walk in them, but he'll get the hang of it. He was completely entralled when his Dad was putting on his shoes.
He was a bit wobbly at first but with a helping hand he soon got the knack of walking around. We had a few more minutes before the public skate opened up, so his Dad and I both took turns getting him used to just being in the shoes and walking with us. He showed no fear and was actually loving his rented skates!


Before long Ben was fine mostly on his own walking in the shoes. I was a bit nervous, but he was determined to try it out on his own. I made sure someone was right there with him. I wanted him to be comfortable without me freaking him out being a helicopter parent, but I also didn't want him to fall down and get discouraged. Look at him go!



Once the skating rink opened, Ben was biting at the bit to get on the ice. He was pulling his Dad's arm saying, "LETS GO." He wanted nothing more then to go try out his skating legs. I was nervous for him but he eased me a little having such a great attitude about going out and trying something he never has done before. I couldn't be more proud at that moment. Ben did great getting on the ice. He was slipping around like crazy and his Dad had to keep picking him up. We told him to march on the ice, but he did prefer getting rides on the ice via his Dad.

By the end of the session, Ben was holding onto the boards and walking by himself. This completely exceeded my expectations on what he would do and met his Dad's expectations on his first day on the ice. Ben never cried, whined or was worried once. He just went out there and did it. He showed no fear. That ruski blood certainly runs deep.



I'm still beaming each time I think of how awesome he was about just trying something new and going for it. We don't know if he'll be gung ho in the future to skate or play hockey, but he certainly will be given every opportunity in the world to learn and experience it. He certainly has a very awesome and patient one on one teacher to help him learn how. I love watching how amazing Ben is in growing up and learning new things. He has such great confidence in himself that just amazes me. I wished that he had his Dad's confidence when he was a little guy and he certainly has it. I hope all my children have that wonderful trait as well. I'm so proud of you Ben!!!!

36 Weeks

Here it is. I am finally in the last month of my pregnancy. While parts of it seemed to zoom by, now that it has hit March 1st, the days are coming to a screeching hault. I’m not sure how I feel about that. My body in one way is just done. I feel huge, achy, sore and tired. On the other hand I know how much another little being can completely change a household. I will admit I’m a little nervous about labor, delivery, birth and what it will mean for when we go home. How easily will I learn to re-juggle? How will it be once my husband goes back to work? More importantly, how will my son adapt? Don’t get me wrong though, I am in absolute and amazingly humbled that my little girl will soon be entering the world. There is always the fear of the unknown though.

Physically I’m quite healthy. My blood pressure is measuring out nicely. My weight is on cue with this pregnancy. I’ve actually gained the perfect amout of weight, which is nice since I will admit I’ve spoiled myself with an extra cookie or Reeses here or there. After a very sick first trimester, having to undergo the three hour glucose test (which I passed) and miraculously busting my butt to find a new job and all those stresses that goes with that, I figured I deserved
it every so often. Now that I hit 36 weeks, it is like on cue that the horrible back contractions have started. I remember back labor when I was induced with my son. It was a throbbing, annoying pain that really never went away. I saw an epidural in my future and knew at some point I’d get it and therefore stayed focus on the marvelousness of the epidural’s magic powers that would eventually come to me. However with these back contraction episodes, it catches you off guard and it feels like a knife is stabbing you over and over again. The first time it hit I was unprepared and thus fought it. Bad idea. It literally left me shaking in pain and I was home alone with a three year old. Uncool. The subsequent times it has happened, I’ve learned to mediate and work it out which in turn seems to not last as long nor get as bad. The downer side is it still happens without too much warning and having to pull over on my way to work several times this
week has become a bit annoying. I’ll take my epidural now please.

I will admit I am quite nervous about labor and delivery. I ideally would like to get my long list of stuff accomplished first. It is dwindling down as my patient husband and I work diligently on it each night when we get home from work. I would also like in my little ideal world to have it start by my water breaking while I’m taking a shower or bath so I create as little mess as possible and I’ve had a chance to wash my hair. I really really REALLY do not want my water breaking at work. I also don’t want to have to start timing my contractions at work either, but in that case I’ll go home if that business starts happening. I just rather it happen while my husband and I are both home so I’m not driving anywhere. I hate leaving my car places….and I am NOT driving to the hospital by myself. I know. I know. I’m quite demanding but hopeful! I also am wondering how long this labor will take until I deliver. Will it be quick? Will the epidural take? How big will my daughter be? Will she be okay? Will I remember to bring the camera? There are a lot of questions and concerns!

I’ll also need to re-juggle things once more. In every day life you learn to re-juggle all the crud that is thrown at you. I guess I’ll just figure it out! As far as my relationship with my son and my
daughters goes, I hope he loves her. I think he already does given how protective he already is and how much he loves being called a big brother. My son is a very active little boy, but man does he have a caring protective nature about him. He notices things. He watches out for things and if it isn’t just so or isn’t fair, he will tell you. I can’t tell you how many times he’s decided his Dad was cold so he brought over a blanket for him or the little pride on his face when he does something cool like cleaning up dishes or something along those lines. He has the making to be a great brother. He already is a pretty terrific son. I just want to make usre he knows he isn’t second and that he’s just as special. My husband and I balance things pretty well so I’m pretty sure he’ll be good to go. Do I expect hiccups? Yes. Do I expect there may be some jealousy? Some. My son is pretty nonchalant and easy going, so as long as we balance turns (turns are big in our little house) and give some special time just for him which I am already planning on. Babies to require lots of attention but he also doesn’t require being babied and actually hates it when I do baby him too much.

So I guess I’m ready. Ready to see what how this little girl will change my world, my husbands world and her brothers world. I want to do everything possible for my children. I want them to hopefully be great friends some day. I can’t wait to see how much a daughter changes my already softy of a husband. I cringe at guessing what her hair will look like the mornings I’m not there. It will be fun to see the relationship my children will have. It is just going to be another amazing journey in our lives together. I'm humbled. Nothing is more awesome then being rich in family and love.

I'll see you soon Alexis!