Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Dedushka Visit
On January 1st, we met Dedushka (Grandfather in Russian) and his wonderful wife Ira for the first time. It was the first time Ben's Dad saw is Dad for the first time in twenty years. It was the first time my children and I ever met him. It was the first time my husband would ever met his wife of twenty years. There was a lot of firsts.
We met him on New Years at the train station. How Russian is that? New Years for Russians is thought to be what ever you do that day is what you will do for your entire year. My husband was nervous. I was nervous. Our kids...oblivious to what was about to happen. He asked me if he thinks he will be able to recognize his Father. I assured him he would. A few moments later his Dad emerged from the gate and even if I never saw a photo of the man in my life, I would have known he was my husband's Dad. J and his Dad are spitting images of each other.
The baffling and AMAZING thing that I witnessed on the first night was how alike J and his Dad are. I can first hand say a lot of who you are in mannerisms, etc., is just in your genes. J and his Dad did so many things alike; they drank the same way, ate food the same way, gestured the day way, their lips curled up slightly when they were amused the same way. It was bizarre! I kept watching them like a tennis match at dinner as they sat across from each other watching this phenomenon. Even their freaking ear lobes looked identical. EAR LOBES. I guess I had a first hand glimpse of what my husband will look twenty years from now.
We did the usual touristy things while he was here. We took him to D.C. Took him to American stores. His Dad thought the Capital and the White House were the same building but wondered why it would sometimes have a dome. He also was baffled at self check out lines at the stores and wondered if people just steal items claiming they had bought it. He also wanted a true American meal, which we gave him. We also explained that America is a melting pot so you can have anything. We even took him to a Capitals game which was eye opening for him. Imagine how awesomely loud the Verizon Center is. Do you know Russians watch hockey like they are going to the theater? HA!
My kids really started to like their Grandfather and Ira. The baby loves everyone she sees for the most part, which I think touched them that she was so sweet with them. Zaichik bonded with his Grandfather quickly by playing a chase game with him. Both Zaichik and his Grandfather were smiling ear to ear chasing each other around. Zaichik still ask about his Grandfather and while it warms my heart to hear he really did enjoy meeting and visiting with him, we also don't know when we will see him again.
When they left after five short days, I teared up. I mourned for them in some ways because it was nice having them around. You can have family be so crappy to you but truly they were great. They loved us and we loved them. My kids got along well with them and you could see the love between them and their Grandfather and his wife. They were both gracious, patient and even though the language barrier was there with the four year old, they listened. They laughed when my little guy laughed. They hugged and kissed them hello and goodbye. They were present in my kids little worlds and having had Grandparents that really didn't do that, you can appreciate it.
I'm not sure when we will see them again. I hope soon. Maybe a year or so from now. They suggested a warm location. I agree. Who doesn't want to get out of the cold winter days? I just am happy that I got to witness a beautiful reunion. As I told them before they left (of course translated) that I humbled and overjoyed that my husband got to see his Dad again and that my children got to know their Grandparents. I pray that we have many more visits and a lot more conversations.
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